Perverse, cruel gossips

Dear Gary,

Well well … gossip. Don’t we just love some good juicy gossip. We are all guilty of it, but we should be careful. False things said about people can be outright cruel and in some cases, where it may be in a public setting, it can be criminal. Most of us have been a victim of cruel gossip at one time or another. I guess it makes us feel better when we can belittle someone. A few years back, I was myself the victim of very distorted gossip and would like to show as an example how it can be traumatizing for the person on the receiving end.

Guys, if you live long enough, you will all have problems with an enlarged prostate. If or when it does happen to you and you’re in a public establishment, drinking coffee or beer or whatever, I suggest that you watch your bathroom habits. Because, in my case, someone was doing just that and perceived the frequent trips and extra sighs when trying to relieve myself, “in the perverse,” if you know what I mean. And of course once in the gossip stream people are going to want to believe the juicier story. I was totally appalled when I learned of this and it was quite disturbing. The person spreading this delusional chatter worked in this particular establishment and was intent on telling just about every customer that came through the door. I have never dealt with anything like this before and any attempts to correct this person were met with threats to call the police.

Gossip about other people I have heard, from individuals you would think were perfectly normal, is just about as outrageous. I suggest that the words delusional and paranoid be revisited in your dictionary. So make sure whatever you’re spreading about someone is at least somewhat accurate, or risk digging a hole that you can’t get out of without yourself becoming the loon or having to make a trip to the courthouse.

Ladies, if a guy in his 50’s or more is making frequent trips to the restroom and making sighing sounds, the noise you hear is likely pain, not pleasure. The male prostate is donut shaped and the urethra passes through it. When the prostate becomes enlarged much force is required to go wee wee, and the bladder only gets partially drained. This is the reason for frequent trips to the restroom and the sighs. Anyone who thinks a guy in his 50’s or 60’s, especially someone that some of you have known for as many as 30 years, is going to act like a 15-year-old in a public restroom is in my opinion extremely naive or just a total bonehead. Give me a break!

I suppose that if the gossip is in fact true, it’s open season. Good luck finding “anything” in the perverse about myself, if you have nothing better to do. No, I’m not gay either since I have caught that in the gossip stream also. Where do people get this stuff. There are numerous individuals that can verify everything I have stated here. In my opinion this particular incident was a crime committed by a certain person of either public slander or defamation and I do not know how widespread it has become. Consider how you would feel if someone were spreading this kind of garbage about yourself. One’s reputation and honor have been fought over since time began and was the main reason for duals in the recent past.

Fortunately modern medicine can cure this problem easily if it becomes life threatening, which they did in my case. Rotarooter to the rescue. I only discuss this in some detail because it will effect most men at some point in their lives. And guys, the world only ends if the prostate must be removed due to cancer.

Bob Nicholson